Through Week 4: NFL Power Rankings

Through the first quarter of the NFL season, it’s time for an installment of power rankings. Using a careful mathematical equation and the ever popular watching-a-few-games-and-catching-Sportscenter-highlights-of-the-rest method, this is the list that came out.

1. Green Bay Packers – Aaron Rodgers is stupid. The guy can’t miss right now. Twelve touchdowns and two interceptions through four games. The defending champs picked up right where they left off and are the cream of the crop in the whole league.
2. New England Patriots – OK, yes they lost to Buffalo, but Tom Brady is still under center for the Pats. Nothing in the games they’ve played, even the loss, suggests they should be removed from the top of the league. New England will be in the thick of things come playoff time.
3. Detroit Lions – They benefited from a lucky comeback against Dallas this past week, but the Lions are legit. Calvin Johnson is quickly becoming the best receiver in the game and Matthew Stafford is proving worthy of that No. 1 pick. Ndamukong Suh and the defense are one of the top in the league as well (high fantasy team). It’s doubtful they have the staying power to be a true contender, but the Lions are certainly on track and have earned the No. 3 spot.
4. New Orleans Saints – No homer pick here. The Saints fall in line right as the No. 4 pick. New Orleans lost the opener to Green Bay in a circumstance game, but have since rattled off three straight and are a true contender. Drew Brees is completing nearly 70 percent of his passes. The defense is suspect, but they should come around. It’ll be a two-horse race with Green Bay in the NFC.
5. Baltimore Ravens – That defense is so good. Damn good. Joe Flacco is more than serviceable and as long as the defense is playing at such a high level, they are a top-10 team.
6. Houston Texans – Well, Houston is finally doing the things we thought they should have been doing for years. Too bad it took Peyton Manning being out to give them the confidence they needed to make a charge. They are the class of that division and should ease into the playoffs.
7. New York Giants – Eli Manning is quietly putting a nice season together. He has eight touchdowns, just two interceptions and a 65 percent completion rate. With the Eagles struggling, the Giants could be poised for a run at the division.
8. Washington Redskins – Not so fast, my friend. The Redskins are having a great start to the 2011 season. There were some fans who were thinking Andrew Luck sweepstakes (hi Dantae), but could the Redskins make a playoff run? Well, to be frank, no they can’t, but they find themselves in the top-10 as of now.
9. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – The Buccaneers come in at No. 9 and it is solely because of Josh Freeman. If the Saints didn’t have J. Christ under center, Freeman would be second choice. That’s not saying he is as good as Brees or even a top-5 or 10 QB. He is just a likeable dude and he knows how to get the job done.
10. San Diego Chargers – The AFC is down this year and that’s why through the first 10 teams, San Diego comes in at 10 overall and No. 4 in the AFC. Philip Rivers is still a top-5 QB and the Chargers should ease their way to AFC West.
11. Tennessee Titans – Titan fan should be thrilled with their start to the season. Matt Hasselbeck has been everything they could have wanted and Chris Johnson hasn’t even gotten going yet. Tennessee should be a player come playoff time.
12. Buffalo Bills – This may be a little low for the Bills, but they couldn’t really be ranked higher. They have a good win against New England, but they have a bad loss to Cincinnati. Ryan Fitzpatrick is playing well right now, but can he keep it up? The Bills should come down a little once Fitzpatrick cools off.
13. Pittsburgh Steelers – The only reason why they are this low is the two losses. The Steelers are going through some issues right now, but this team will be there come playoff time. Ben Roethlisberger is great in big situations and you take the Steelers defense over almost any other one in the league. By Week 8, Pittsburgh’s in the top-10.
14. Dallas Cowboys – Every NFL fan, aside from the Cowboys fan, should thank Tim Tebow every day that Tony Romo is not their quarterback.
15. San Francisco 49ers – It appears the Niners made the right hire in Jim Harbaugh. They’re ranked low at 15 even though they have the 3-1 record because Alex Smih cannot be trusted. They’ll hover around mid-pack all season
16. New York Jets – The Jets have played poorly thus far, but they shouldn’t be ranked this low. Mark Sanchez is real bad right now and if he doesn’t get it straight, Jets fans are in for a long season.
17. Atlanta Falcons – The Falcons stink. Matt Ryan is a douche. This team is the most over-hyped group of never beens in league history.
18. Cleveland Browns – The Browns show signs of good play at times, but they are largely inconsistent. Colt McCoy is a decent option under center and Peyton Hillis is a top-tier running back, but they are thin everywhere else.
19. Philadelphia Eagles – The Dream Team is struggling; no one is disappoint. Mike Vick is hurting and the millions of dollars they spent in the offseason on free agents has equated one win through four games. Nice work, Philly.
20. Chicago Bears – As long as Jay Cutler is the quarterback, the Bears will go nowhere. That guy is an interception waiting to happen. Bears fan would lead you to believe they have been good for decades. In reality, they will hover around mediocrity as usual.
21. Cincinnati Bengals – Carson Palmer’s and Chad Ochocino’s exits opened the door for…Andy Dalton and A.J. Green. OK, maybe, but don’t invest too much of your season into these rookies just yet, Bengals fan. The future actually looks decent, but it’s going to be a while.
22. Oakland Raiders – Frankly, the Raiders can go to hell. Picking them to make the playoffs every season as a sleeper is a practice that has run its course. As long as Al Davis’ dead corpse runs the football operations, this franchise is a joke.
23. Carolina Panthers – Well hello, Cam Newton. NFC South fans are not looking forward to facing this guy twice a year for the next 10. Hopefully, he outplays his contract and gets traded to Philly. They like to spend money, right?
24. Arizona Cardinals – Kevin Klob was supposed to come in and bring Larry Fittzgerald and the Cardinals back to the playoffs. The entire NFC West is miserable, so that is still possible, but the defense is awful and Kolb is probably overrated.
25. Kansas City Chiefs – Chiefs fan, you’re mad. It’s understandable. You made the playoffs last season and you’re laying egg this one. Just remember that you are still Chiefs fan. You probably shouldn’t have made noise last year and now, you’re near the bottom of the league. Welcome home.
26. Denver Broncos – If you have two quarterbacks, you have no quarterbacks. If you have two quarterbacks and a tight end who played quarterback in college and who you wasted a first-round pick on and who the fans want to see as your NFL starting quarterback, you have the 26^th best team in the NFL.
27. Minnesota Vikings – Donovan McNabb is done. Stick a fork in him. Too bad the Vikings drafted Christian Ponder; they’d be right in the Andrew Luck race.
28. Miami Dolphins – Their starter, who was really terrible, is out. This means the backup, who couldn’t beat out the terrible starter, is now the starter. Not to mention, Reggie Bush. Bummer, Dolphins fan.
29. St. Louis Rams –Sam Bradford is likeable. The dude is going to be elite in the next two seasons. That offense around him without Steven Jackson is stagnant. They need Jackson healthy.
30. Jacksonville Jaguars – Jack Del Rio’s last season is upon us. What the hell was going on with the David Garrard situation? Now, you start “Sunshine” from “Remember the Titans?” Fail.
31. Seattle Seahawks – In the preseason, they were the pick to get Andrew Luck. It was thought they might end up with Carson Palmer. It appears Pete Carroll thought so too because he didn’t plan otherwise.
32. Indianapolis Colts – I cannot believe 32 was just typed next to the Indianapolis Colts and it wasn’t typing their draft pick. The Colts are bad. It is insane how much Peyton Manning means to this team. Kerry Collins is bad and if Manning doesn’t return, Colts fan might have a San Antonio Spurs situation on his hands.